Tarot Journal Entry #1

I thought to myself during the previous full moon while doing my regular spread that I should start a tarot journal, or at least some sort of record of my practice. It’s become very meaningful to me over the past year, as it has become a very bonding experience.

Despite the fact there are so many different decks, spreads and intentions I’ve bonded on a much deeper level with numerous people—becoming friends through the vulnerability we give to our decks.

The process of reading tarot can be cathartic and trigger a need for self-compassion and understanding. Reading tarot for yourself can so easily feel like reading for a friend or loved one. The care you put into interpreting each card to each situation—tarot can provide guidance in periods of self-doubt and isolation. A tarot deck you really love can become a close friend: a confidant.

Now that I’ve set out to spend more time on myself and working on myself I’m getting back into meditation, yoga and my spiritual practice. Crystals have an aesthetic appeal—and as a sensory-sensitive person their textures can be extremely soothing in my anxious palms—but their messages aren’t as clear to me as tarot. Crystals on my desk remind me of the intentions and goals I’ve set out for the month, but often nothing more.

  • Deck: Wild Unknown Animal Spirit Deck
  • Spread: Single-pull          
  • Guiding question: What energy can I manifest to ensure a positive birthday celebration?
  • Card: Buffalo
  • Element: Earth
  • GROUNDED YET HEAVENLY, PRACTICAL YET SPIRITUAL

Key message: “…the Buffalo does not fear death, illness or misfortune… Its gentle eyes look ahead, trusting every turn.”

Reflection:

This hit me hard. It had me burst into tears. I’ve been so scared about what’s wrong with me; so scared about what this illness could be and just trying to suppress my fears and anxiety. I’ve realized I can’t keep pushing it down.

Seeing doctors isn’t the only thing I need to begin healing. I’m realizing that now.

I interpret this is saying “tough times are ahead, but don’t let them ruin your fun. You’re still you, regardless of your illness.” I will somehow turn my hardships into opportunity. 

Making more time for myself on a spiritual level (meditation, sun salutations, foraging in my neighbourhood, tantric sex, etc.) is what will keep me grateful, reminding me that life is precious and worth experiencing regardless of my ability. I’m not sure how yet, but I’m working on it surely.

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