Tarot Journal Entry #1

I thought to myself during the previous full moon while doing my regular spread that I should start a tarot journal, or at least some sort of record of my practice. It’s become very meaningful to me over the past year, as it has become a very bonding experience.

Despite the fact there are so many different decks, spreads and intentions I’ve bonded on a much deeper level with numerous people—becoming friends through the vulnerability we give to our decks.

The process of reading tarot can be cathartic and trigger a need for self-compassion and understanding. Reading tarot for yourself can so easily feel like reading for a friend or loved one. The care you put into interpreting each card to each situation—tarot can provide guidance in periods of self-doubt and isolation. A tarot deck you really love can become a close friend: a confidant.

Now that I’ve set out to spend more time on myself and working on myself I’m getting back into meditation, yoga and my spiritual practice. Crystals have an aesthetic appeal—and as a sensory-sensitive person their textures can be extremely soothing in my anxious palms—but their messages aren’t as clear to me as tarot. Crystals on my desk remind me of the intentions and goals I’ve set out for the month, but often nothing more.

  • Deck: Wild Unknown Animal Spirit Deck
  • Spread: Single-pull          
  • Guiding question: What energy can I manifest to ensure a positive birthday celebration?
  • Card: Buffalo
  • Element: Earth
  • GROUNDED YET HEAVENLY, PRACTICAL YET SPIRITUAL

Key message: “…the Buffalo does not fear death, illness or misfortune… Its gentle eyes look ahead, trusting every turn.”

Reflection:

This hit me hard. It had me burst into tears. I’ve been so scared about what’s wrong with me; so scared about what this illness could be and just trying to suppress my fears and anxiety. I’ve realized I can’t keep pushing it down.

Seeing doctors isn’t the only thing I need to begin healing. I’m realizing that now.

I interpret this is saying “tough times are ahead, but don’t let them ruin your fun. You’re still you, regardless of your illness.” I will somehow turn my hardships into opportunity. 

Making more time for myself on a spiritual level (meditation, sun salutations, foraging in my neighbourhood, tantric sex, etc.) is what will keep me grateful, reminding me that life is precious and worth experiencing regardless of my ability. I’m not sure how yet, but I’m working on it surely.

What do I do with my time?

**AN: This is an un-cut piece I wrote as a submission for ‘An Invisible Work Day And The Gig Economy’, a standalone-issue zine covering experiences of different self-employed people and the impact of the Gig Economy on our daily lives.

Some famous person once said, “If you love what you do, you won’t work a day in your life”, or something to that effect.

Whoever that person is, it’s their fault why I do what I do — which feels like nothing.In reality, I do a lot. I find as the years go on, it gets more and more difficult to describe what I do to people. Especially older people. My go to is “Oh, I’m a freelancer”, which just means I’ll do about anything for money. If they pry further, I move onto what I actually do.What is that? I write.I’m not a writer though, oh no. I’m a painter. Actually? Yes, actually.

Does selling my paintings make any money?

Not at all! Selling fine art is probably the most difficult thing to sell online — nobody wants originals anymore, they’re only looking for prints and custom work. So naturally, I do that now. I sell my prints and small works at local art shows and craft fairs. The craft fairs turned into its’ own entity entirely, causing me to branch out into digital illustration, apparel design, and open an online store to sell year-round. This is how I make a large amount of my income. Funnily enough, selling my own merchandise was enough to market me to other indie artists and small businesses as an artist-for-hire. These clients were asking for branding and logos, so I started doing that too.

A dirty secret I have is I spend a lot of time on content marketing — it’s easy to feel like it’s your only job, when really you should be making content to market. But that’s the thing, people need to see your content to buy it.

I spend about half my work-time on social media, which is very embarrassing for me to admit. I don’t enjoy the dependence my career has on my online presence, but the reality is that I get half of my online sales through my fans online which is something too valuable for me to neglect.

You may think painting an abstract painting on a four-foot canvas and writing web-copy are nothing alike? And you would be correct! Writing is still difficult and probably always will be. It’s dragged me miles from my comfort zone, forcing me to form thoughts into words, rather than images.

As a result of my many hats, my daily life can vary widely.

If I had to give you a snippet of my day, it always starts with walking my dog — he gets me out of bed at an acceptable hour every morning, like the good boy he is. We go for a walk and I take the time to sort my thoughts out for the day; what I’ll be writing, what I’ll be working on, clients to follow up with, invoicing, and whatever other administrative work I can get done that morning. I have trouble with taking breaks. I’ll work way past breakfast and lunch, until almost supper time before I even get hungry. It’s a horrible habit, but it’s so difficult to break that kind of concentration. If I do manage a to get a break in, it’s with some home-made cookies and dairy-free milk while I read or listen to music. My afternoons are filled with great natural lighting; warranting product photography sessions, fine art videos, and painting in my airy living room studio space. Social media management takes up more energy than I would care to admit, and a lot more time.

The clean Canadian breeze flows through my living space as I clean and cleanse my home in the late afternoon sun — the outside air always leaves my sheets feeling so fresh. It sounds dull, but it’s one of the best things I can do for myself regularly.I love what I do and the only thing I would change is the ability to stretch time! There’s so many projects I still want to work on and people I want to work with, and I feel like so many other self-employed or creative people can relate to that. We’re never satisfied I think it’s important for today’s ‘Renaissance Man’ to take the time to sit back and enjoy the fruits of their labour, a thing I certainly struggle with myself.Enjoying the work you do is great, but you need to be able to enjoy moments without work even greater.

That’s why self-care has become a big part of my life, my writing, and my artwork. I enjoy my time snuggling with my dog under the Kotatsu while I peck away at my keyboard for my next article, but not nearly as much as baking cookies with my partner and playing video-games together on a Friday night. You know what I mean?

We could all use a bit more time.

I hope you enjoyed something a little different. If you did, you can support the creator and purchase a copy of the zine here.

Until next Sunday,

—J

November 2020 Playlist: Grunge Girl Fall

It’s been a few months since I’ve posted a new monthly work playlist.

That’s simply because I’ve had the same music on heavy rotation for the past 4 months. It wasn’t until about mid-October that I needed to change things up. My work days now look a lot different now than they did a few months ago, or even a few weeks ago.

After a two-month sabbatical from my business and clients, I have a much clearer vision and focus for my work. I’ve cleaned out my office, rebranded and was fully prepared for the Witches’ New Year. The pandemic has had a large impact on how my business has been forced to adapt and to find new, innovative ways to keep operating.

As per usual, here’s an entirely unthematic playlist of music I’ve been listening to while I work.

My top five from this playlist:

  1. Shut Up And Let Me Go—The Ting Tings
  2. Heads Will Roll—Yeah Yeah Yeahs
  3. Frustrerad—Agent Blue
  4. Rollerskate—Gurr
  5. Combat Baby—Metric

Listen directly via Apple Music.

My bullet journal spread for November 2020

I keep a bullet journal and wanted to show off my cover spread for this month.

Cover Spread in my bullet journal for November 2020

My standard layout and system are very simple, but I also indulge in decorating a spread to denote the beginning of a new month.

This month, I used exclusively scrap paper from my junk mail—all of the calendars, note pads, magazines and other miscellaneous paper goods random companies send you unsolicitedly—to create this monthly spread. This spread is inspired by Halloween and the Scorpio Moon, a period of death and moving on.

Learn the basic layouts and system I use with this video from the creator of the bullet journalling system.

Until next time, go check out my new shop look!

—J

I’m live-streaming on Twitch every Wednesday!

I can’t believe my new live-streaming set-up is ready. I’ve been t this for about a year and now I finally feel like I have everything the way I like it!

I finally settled on live-streaming video games only, rather than art or variety streaming. Live-streaming art has been work, but playing video games with and chatting is a much-needed break me.

The older we get, the less time we have for the things we used to love. My love of video games has never gone away, so I am forcing myself to take a break from whatever I’m working on every week, at least every Wednesday morning, to play my favourite relaxing video games and to answer questions live on Twitch.

Engaging with me on Twitch and Instagram are the best ways to support me right now, aside from supporting my shop directly. Follow me on social media to know when I go live!

I’m very excited to be live-streaming on Twitch with a whole new image! I like to play Animal Crossing, farming simulators and Indie games on Nintendo Switch. I look forward to seeing you weekly in my chat on Wednesday at 11 AM EST!

Until next Sunday,

—J